Second Life

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My avatar before I slightly less
crappified it

For those of you who don’t know  "Second Life" is a program that is somewhat like a MMORPG, only… without the RPG part. With the name clearly being honest about its escapist intentions, thousands upon thousands of people act out a fantasy life in this virtual reality every day. The denizens of SL have full control over the lands, the structure, and can even open virtual shops and sell virtual items for virtual money… which they can then exchange for real money. It’s web 2.0 to the extreme and you would think it would be alot of fun.

Yeah. You would think that.

I’d been making some pocket change over at IMVU and so when I heard of Second Life I decided to sign up and give it a try. Oh man, don’t let the screenshots on the website fool you. Second Life has some of the ugliest, glitchiest, weirdest graphics I’ve ever experienced. I run The Sims 2 and IMVU fine on this computer, so I can’t understand why every time I go to change my avatar’s look in SL it’s suddenly spotted with a fluxuating cycle of the wrong textures. It’s not just me, is it?

Me and some other mooches at
the Freebie Warehouse

So initially I just went in, got some free shit on N00B ISLAND or whatever the hell and customized my avatar. After that, I promptly got bored. Of course, I tended to just explore deserted areas so that may be my fault. I have an inherent fear of people in online games, because I think anyone I try to talk to is going to be an idiot or ask me if I WAN 2 CYBUR or be some spaz who will try to become my new bestest internet buddy. I really can’t help it, it’s some psychological scarring from having to live through online RPGs getting overrun with retards. I couldn’t even play obscure, text-based MUDs without idiots swarming all over screaming "HOW DO I LEVEL!?!?!" and ruining the god-fucking ambience. Not to mention it became harder and harder to find any that enforced strict roleplaying/staying in character rules. Graphical RPGs have never been my cup ‘o tea neither, because I think graphics limit your imagination, and besides you gotta pay for most of them.

At any rate, back to Second Life. When I found out you actually had to pay the monthly fee to be able to own/operate a store and sell shit I said to hell with it. I highly doubted I’d play it often enough to be worth a monthly payment, and besides which I still can’t figure out how the fuck to build or make anything in there.

Something Awful was right! SL’s economy
is completely supported by virtual penises

So for a while I forgot about it. But over the last few months I’ve been greatly amused by Something Awful’s "Second Life Safari" feature and decided to download it again. Obtaining even more free shit like the goddamn mooch I am I took to customizing my avatar and making it… not so hideous.

Granted it seems impossible to make a Second Life avatar not look hideous but by god I tried. Of course, I am such a goddamn goth on the internets (thankfully not one in real life. I’m too old for that shit and all the clothes are expensive.)

I doubt I’ll be living a second life anytime soon, if I could find a good way to make money that didn’t involve virtual prostitution or paying a monthly fee I may consider it. I also know full well SL is overrun with furries, and that should be enough to make anyone want to stay away. And people are so damn nosey, I was busy changing clothes and some bitch with cat ears and a tail drops out of the sky and lands next to me. She goes "hi!" at me, and because people in online games as I mentioned terrify me I just lifted up and flew away. She seemed pretty pissed about it and tried to follow me. Lulz.

lol gawth

At any rate, I’m reluctant to give my Second Life name. Hell I’m reluctant to even admit I’ve been there. Oh well, just for shits and giggles I’ll tell you readers the first name: In Second Life I go by "Lydia". Don’t ask.