Mac vs PC

(6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

 Loading ...

"Hello, I’m a PC",  "And I’m an elitist hipster douchebag"

We’ve all seen these ads on TV. A PC and a Mac personified as humans, the PC being a nerdy guy and the Mac being some 40 year old ad executive’s apparent perception of what the equivalent of the Fonz is these days. Now yes I’m probably an incredibly biased PC-lover considering that any time I’ve used a Mac they’ve driven me absolutely bonkers, but then again anything that’s so overly user friendly that it doesn’t  just let you do what you want to fucking do always makes me nuts. This is why I use Adobe Photoshop rather than MGI Photosuite, for example.

Of course in my experience Macs always crash doing the simplest things, anyway. Like loading websites. And this was on OSX!

My bias aside, these commercials annoy me so goddamn much because of their vague claims and truthfully untruthful implications that are so obviously crafted to prey on the minds of the ignorant and technologically inept. And anytime someone ignores their own lack of virtues, instead opting for the ad hominem approach to promote themselves, it’s just fucking obnoxious. Oddly enough, the tone and suggestions of these commercials sounds exactly like all the Mac fanboys out there (not to mention Justin Long is quite nearly an unintentional satire of Mac fanboys themselves) who constantly bash PCs and hold their elitist, frosted-tipped heads high because they’re willing to shell out a couple thousand extra dollars for a computer with a fancier box that comes in 6 fabulous designer colors.

Considering I’m the beatnik artsy type my loathing of Macs may come as a shock to a few people who are convinced of the dubious image that anyone creative has a megaton, ass-expensive Mac setup. Nope, it’s just me and a handful of networked PCs, most of them running Windows XP. I do have a certificate in print media graphic design and web design and I gotta tell you, all my classes? We worked on PCs. I took but one graphic design class at a different college that used Macs, and guess what? I took home my work many times and did the exact same things on my PC. My professor (who I liked and had also taught my Color class) and I got into some pretty hilarious Mac vs PC fights, namely with my mocking her that my image was still crisp and nice even though I had taken it home and done a great deal of the work on a PC. The idea that Macs somehow make better graphics is a complete and utter myth whose residue remains from a time over a decade ago when Adobe Photoshop was only on the Mac.

At any rate, I think the thing that cheeses me off most about the commercials is the assertion that all new PCs are apparently still running Windows 95. I mean the commercials act like all PCs can do is run spreadsheets and do math, and they heavily imply that PCs somehow can’t play music, run and create videos, or make CDs and print projects (my Anime Music Videos, by the way, all done on a PC with Adobe Premiere 5). The commercials imply only Macs have this ability, as they’re apparently good for "fun stuff". Yes, all the "fun stuff" you could think of, except for computer games, of course, which they always neglect to mention the super cool and hip Mac is really bad at playing.

There was also another ad where they represented a camera as a hot Asian chick and the burnt-out Mac knew Japanese. The point of this ad was to imply that PCs are not capable of "plug and play" with devices which is complete and utter bullshit. Another ad, which the first image in this article is taken from, implies that PCs are not "ready to use out of box", which is also complete bullshit. Since when can you not unpack a PC, plug in the monitor, plug in the power and use it? If you’re trying to prove your product is superior it’s not a very good sign if you have to outright lie to make it look good.

The other big claim is holy crap Macs come with shit! Like iTunes for example! I mean PCs don’t- hold on a tick. My HP Pavillion came with iTunes didn’t it? And guess what? It’s a free fucking download anyway. What’s the big deal about coming packaged with something anyone can download off the internet at any time anyway? But what’s that? Macs come with iMovie? Well PCs come with Windows Movie Maker. And guess what? They’re both useless pieces of crap only good for editing crappy vacation videos and AMVs of Dragon Ball Z set to Linkin Park. Got iPhoto? It’s the exact same as any other user friendly generic shit photo handling program out there that companies bundle with computers so they can trick you into thinking you’re getting a good deal and are only good for people who don’t need to do anything that complex or…well, good. With both PCs and Macs you need to shell out the big bucks for the better programs so a computer coming with a suite of crap for people with no artistic ability with premade project templates that don’t really create anything that constructive or useful is not that impressive. Also Premiere? Cheaper than Final Cut Pro. And they’re both professional grade programs. So suck on that.

A whole shitload of them, you misinforming assclowns.

Of course the last thing Mac-fanatics will tell you (and the commercials endlessly plug as well) is that oooh PCs there’s so many viirussses! You won’t get any virusessss for the Maaaac! Also bullshit. There ARE viruses that can effect Macs. There’s just less of them. Probably because 90% of computer users use a PC. If you’re some shithead hacker with nothing bettter to do why would you want to create a virus that wouldn’t piss off a whole lot of people? Okay, so the OS is more secure. But you really only get devastating viruses on a PC is you’re an idiot about what you use and download. The ads and the Mac fanboys and even Apple’s goddamn website will claim that you have to buy all sorts of expensive shit to protect your PC, which is untrue, because some of the best programs out there like Ad Aware and AVG come in very effective completely free versions.

One Mac vs PC commercial depicted an overprotective virus protection software asking for the go ahead before doing anything. This was clearly a representation of the irritating habits of the latest Norton Anti-Virus, a program that no one in their right mind leaves installed on a PC. I had to put up with that crap on a computer while visiting my dad, "holy shit Firefox is trying to connect to the internet! Should I block it and never let it do this ever again!?" and where it is an incredibly annoying program it’s not like it’s fucking mandatory, and there are the aforementioned free alternatives.

I’d rather have to deal with a few viruses once in a while than be completely frustrated anytime I try to do anything on my computer.

Look, I don’t care if you want to use a Mac. If they work for you and you can do your best work on them, fine, that’s peachy. But I don’t gotta like them. And I sure as hell don’t gotta like their advertising compaigns! Just keep in mind there is nothing you can do on a Mac that you can’t do on a PC. And there are several things you can do on a PC that you sure as hell can’t do on a Mac.

And believe me, I’m well aware Microsoft is evil and Windows is  flawed, and Internet Explorer SUCKS but until Linux gives me everything I want and until Macs stop dumbing down, designing OS GUIs with big candy buttons, useless animations and bright colors that look like they’re made to appeal to five year olds, and stop showing an endlessly spinning stupid rainbow thing every time you ask it to do too much at once I’m stuck with it (except Internet Explorer of course. Get Firefox.)