DDR Hottest Party

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I’m a little ashamed to admit to even owning this game, to tell you the truth. And I’m sure it’s the last one people expected me to ever, ever talk about. Well some time ago I decided I could maybe get in shape the geeky way (since I can never seem to work out without some sort of structure), Wii Sports wasn’t really doing it for me and I’m waiting to see critics weigh in on the effectiveness of Wii Fit before investing in such a thing, so naturally I decided a DDR game that makes you move your hands with the Wiimote and Nunchuck as well as hobble around on your awkward, rhythmless feet would offer an optimal full-body workout.

Let me start by clarifying that I’ve only done the Workout Mode (as thats what I bought it for.) My brother, however, decided he wanted to try it too and then refused to give both it and my Wii back for the night. But at least he unlocked some more songs and venues for me. I not only decided to get the Wii version, as opposed to the 360 version, for the hand movements but the track list as well. This one features songs like 99 Red Balloons, You Spin Me Round, Karma Chameleon and Blue Monday, techno remixed of course and mostly covers, but hey, at least its not bubblegum pop. I understand DDR fanatics hate the track list but if I’m going to fail at DDR I might as well fail to songs I like.

Also I’ve had to put the damn thing in the basement because I have no room for it anywhere else, thus I haven’t been able to take my own screenshots.

The hand movements turned out to be not as involved as I thought they would be… well… at least not on Basic Mode which is the highest mode I can manage, and even then I stomp around the pad with all the grace of a severely autistic 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum. It should be noted that I’m very BAD at games that throw a rapid sequence of buttons at you to press with acute timing because something about it makes me panic and just start mashing random buttons. DDR doesn’t really allow for that, but it does allow for freaking out and pressing down instead of up and then subsequently messing up the next 10 moves or so. I find when I clear my head and just go with it I can get into a pretty good groove with You Spin Me Round but there’s this one part in the middle that just makes me forget what the hell I’m doing. Then there’s the song A Little Too Late, which starts slow, gets RETARDEDLY FAST, and then slows down again.

So why did I decide to torture myself like this? Well it’s a video game. And like the retarded gamer I am I always am determined to do better in a game, so I figure I’ll at least stick with this. Besides, its kind of fun. The best part about the Workout mode is you can set a goal: either how many calories you’re looking to burn, or how much time you want to spend playing. I set mine to 30 minutes and it only counts time you actually spend dancing so it worked out pretty well. You even get to pick your venue and your character, I chose U.G., because you know a man with a rainbow fro must be brimming with funk.

But it seems things have changed since the one or two times years ago I’ve attempted DDR in the arcades and failed miserably. For one the announcer, as corny and so painfully white as he is, is much more encouraging. He doesn’t tell you you dance like a monkey but tells you to "relax and feel the beat" while you’re mindlessly stamping your feet about trying to get in a hit on a song on only the second level of hardness that appears to think the player ought to have three legs. There’s also lots of friggin’ annoying little TRAPS as you play, like Foot Confusers, and Foot Exploders, and special moves you have to hit or an annoying, enigmatic ORB arises to block the oncoming arrows. I can’t help but feel these things are a bit frustratingly unnecessary as just following the directions is hard enough and I wish you could turn them off. EDIT: Ah, I discovered today you can turn them off (they’re called "Gimmicks" by the way, an… interesting choice of words for something only in the Wii version.)

I found my footwork was much easier with the Gimmicks turned off since my senses weren’t being overloaded by odd shapes flying around with the directionals or being unable to return my feet to the default position for fear of stepping on a Foot Exploder or what have you. However turning them off also eliminated the "hold" notes, which I actually liked. Oh well. It also cut down on breaks between songs as I was doing a set Workout program and having the flow interrupted by a screen informing you to beware of Foot Confusers or to not miss the Double Stomps was a bit irritating and didn’t do much to keep my heart rate up there.

The pad itself that comes with the game is pretty cool, though. It plugs into a Gamecube controller port and its surprisingly sensitive. The other cool thing about it is you can scroll through the menus by nonchalantly pressing the arrow keys with your feet, this was probably true for alot of other DDR games but shut the hell up, I’ve never owned one before.

I have to say this is a good Wii game, not a game for everyone but a good game nontheless, and especially good if you’re new to DDR like me. If you get extra dance mats you can play up to four people, so its good for parties or for children to play with their friends. It is a pretty good workout, I must say, I definitely build up a sweat and afterwards I feel a bit light-headed but happily enough all my joints and muscles feel really good. And that’s good news to any parents who got the Wii to make their gamer children a bit more active, just tell them whoever gets the lowest score on I Saw the Sign has to do the dishes or something.