A Jack Chick Halloween

I regret to inform that I was not able to come up with a good Halloween comic in time for the holiday this year. Truthfully it sort of snuck up on me, oh man, I’m getting old. However! I didn’t want to leave anyone high and dry in the giggle department so I decided to compensate by partaking in the grand tradition of remixing a Jack Chick tract (one about Halloween, of course.)

For those of you who don’t know, Jack Chick is an Evangelical Christian who founded a publishing empire of shitty, shitty comics that are supposed to somehow convert people to "crazy on fire Catholic-hating fundamentalist Christianity", many of which he’s drawn himself. These comics tend to follow the same formula, there’s the good Christian, the ugly, evil non-Christians who are all consciously on Satan’s side, and some moron who somehow never heard of Jesus ever and believes every single word the good Christian tells them, converting completely 5 minutes later. I mean, if you honestly never heard of Jesus before, and someone tried to explain the concept to you, seriously, would you believe it?

Jack Chick is also known to write absolute untrue bullshit about other religions and Halloween in his "tracts", and when he does cite a source it’s always something under his own publishing company. I chose a Halloween comic that has the biggest load of bull about the origins of Halloween you’ve ever seen, and as a bonus is stars a favorite Chick character of mine: Lil’ Susy, who he always inadvertently draws really insane and creepy looking when she talks about JEE-SAYZ.

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The Jews Need Perfecting, Apparently

I hear banjoes.

I’m sure everyone knows big crazy man-lady Ann Coulter. And if you don’t here’s a summary: attention whoring anorexic blonde closet lesbian spouts batshit crazy opinions and yet people see fit to put her on TV and never challenge her clearly insane and contradictory views. Yeah I know I said I was going to do politics and not religion next, but this is partly about politics. Also my political post was boring and I’m still working on it and Ann Coulter’s latest comment is far, far funnier.  

Anyway, according to Cuntler-er Coutler, Christians only want to convert Jews because they want them to be "perfected".

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2.3 Update!

Well I’ve updated the site to Wordpress 2.3. You probably.. can’t tell… but yeah it’s updated alright! Apparently I can play with TAG CLOUDS now.

Some things I’m going to work on around here: think I’m going to rethink my theme. Basically I’m jealous of HPK’s badass WP site Studio Blu. I canned the Amazon ads a while ago, but there’s still some floating around. I intend to fix the Adsense ads, and I’ll be integrating Project Wonderful, which means all you lovely readers can take out ads on my site on the cheap. Advertise your blog, your personal site, your deviantART page whatever.

And where the blog will still be a big part of the site, I do believe I’m going to try to make a more solid frontpage with streams of the recent posts, top rated posts, etc. on it and only the site updates showing. In the meantime expect some more political and social rants, it’s pissing me off more than religion lately (shocker!)

Bully

The game professional crazy jackass Jack Thompson described as a "Columbine Simulator" turns out to be one of the most clever, artful games I’ve ever laid eyes on. Okay, so Bully’s a year old but I’ve only just now gotten around to playing it. I was really interested in it when it first came out but I just never picked it up, however, since I get the perk of renting out games from where I work I figured why not? And actually, it’s pretty relevant right now considering Rockstar has announced they’re going to port a new edition of the game with new content to the Wii and Xbox 360. I’ll be discussing the Playstation 2 version, of course, but from what I’ve seen I may just pick up the Wii or 360 version.

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Warriors Orochi

As some of you may know, I like to talk about video games. As some of you may know I’m quite enamored with Koei’s Dynasty/Samurai Warriors franchise for the Playstation 2. As some of you may not know, Koei recently released a Warriors game that can only be described as pure liquid fanservice. What am I talking about? Warriors Orochi, the game that does the most improbable thing of crossing over Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors. Sure, the idea of exaggerated characterizations of legendary warriors of 3rd century China’s Three Kingdoms era and exaggerated characterizations of legendary warriors of 16th century Japan’s Warring States era meeting is under a very flimsy pretext, and it makes it hard to keep a coherent plot notwithstanding that and the 70-odd characters you can play, but in the end nobody cares because a crossover of these games is automatically awesome.

I think I’ve played enough so far to get a good handle on the game, so I’m gonna give my thoughts on its ups and downs. As usual, mind the quality of the screenshots, I like to take my own and my equipment is… well, outdated and lacking. And analog. Blech.

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