Fresh Off the Sai-brain.

I just uploaded some very recent sketches (some were done just last night) into the Sketchbook gallery. Check ‘em out:

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Of course you are. Do 5th graders know how to sucessfully cheat on their taxes? How to creatively exaggerate the truth on a resume? How to effectively outrun a police cruiser to avoid getting a speeding ticket? Hell no. Fuck 5th graders. And even though Americans are, generally, extremely dumb, this show would have us believe we’re even dumber because we can’t answer questions from a 5th grade textbook that we all forgot for a reason: it’s completely useless information that no one, nowhere, needs to know. And why is a drunken hick like Jeff Foxworthy hosting this show, anyway? We know most of them didn’t even finish 5th grade.

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What’s New, Pussycat?

Seeing as the new art updates are not all covered by the "latest art" thingermabob here are the clickable thumbnails of all the new stuff, just for shits and giggles. But you have to click the read more link to see them, because I’m not having them stretch all the way down the front page! (The last ones a one panel comic! Honest.)

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Please Put Paris in the Penitentiary

Surely the fact that Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days will be the fodder for much comedy in the coming months. However it seems some people aren’t laughing. Her batshit insane mother for one, who took to shrieking at the defense lawyers after the sentencing. And not to mention her legions of inexplicable fans actually petioning to get her pardoned because she’s a "role model". Where the petition is most likely on Petition Online, which no one ever pays attention to or gives a fuck about, the sheer mentality behind it is flabbergasting. As is the fact it’s probably real despite being on Petition Online, where 90% of the petitions are jokes.

I don’t get these slovenly slobs who sit in their trailers and worship idiots like Paris Hilton. What has she accomplished that’s truly of note? Besides being rich and having the ugliest fucking nose in the world, that is. If you’re rich you’d think you’d be able to fix that thing easy, jesus. She’s also a perfect example of everything that’s wrong with this country: "Hey you’re a braindead spoiled rich brat who hasn’t earned everything she has in the least, here have a TV show!"

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Scientology

A close friend of mine encouraged me to bitch about a different religion for once, one other than Christianity, that also pisses me off. So here I am. Where there are religions I intensely dislike, some I just mock, and others I may not like but find no reason to hold in contempt: Scientology easily wins the dumbfuck award above all else in my mind.

Like most people I didn’t really pay Scientology much attention. I figured it was some stupid celebrity fad and at the time it began to get media attention I was much more pissed off about Madonna and Britney Spears and a menagerie of other blonde bimbos "converting" to Kabbalah. Then of course there was that (in)famous South Park episode. I sat there saying "no way" as the words "This is what Scientologists actually believe" presented themselves across the bottom screen. So I did what any sensible person would do: I Googled it. Holy shit.

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